Cows
by To Wander
Summary: Suzaku isn't afraid of Zero, the Emperor, or Knightmares. Naw, there's no way he can be THAT normal.


**My first story! ^^ Inspired by a convo between my sister (who I love oh-so-very much) who also thought of the title! No need to hold back on the comments, even if this my first story. Tell me if the characters are too OC or anything. Happy Reading! ^^**

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**The Cow**

"Nyaa!"

With that, Ashford Academy was once again bustling with activity as its president's infamous "events" were set into motion. Chuckling to himself, Lelouch turned to face his friend.

"Your voice is as girly as ever, Suzaku." Suzaku blushed as giggles erupted from the student council. Seeing his obvious discomfort, Shirley swung one arm around his neck. "Suzaku-kun can't help it, ne? He's just so cute!"

Pinching his cheeks certainly didn't stop the blood from flowing into his face.

And neither did the ropes that bound him to the chair.

The doors opened with a slight hiss as the Earl of Pudding stepped into the room. "Ohayo gozaimasu! I wanted to check on Suzaku-"

The Earl paused at the sight of his Devicer's awkward expression.

Suzaku froze. "O-Ohayo Lloyd-san! I was j-just in the middle of- Mmmph!" Karen's hand quickly clamped over the boy's mouth. "Just in the middle of a costume change!" she winked playfully.

"Ne, I can see you're busy, Suzaku-san!" Lloyd said, a little too cheerful. "Sayonara!"

Kallen gestured at the clothing rack nearby, prompting the stiffening of an incredibly frightened Lancelot Devicer.

"Wwmt du hlll zzz dttt? (Translation: What the hell is that?)" he said, starting to get a little panicked. The girls smiled evilly at the young Knight. The guys only sighed. "Isn't this getting a little too out of hand, ladies?" Lelouch asked drearily.

"Bah, Lulu, you're no fun!" Shirley pouted. Turning her attention to the Knight, she spoke cheerfully. "Now Suzaku-kun, let's not forget why you're in this situation!

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_Flashback_

"_Ow! Dammit, Arthur!" Suzaku nursed the finger that was once again punctured by said-cat's fangs. "This is the third time this week!"_

"_Nyaw." The cat replied._

_Walking away from the council room, Suzaku headed for the dormitories. 'I'm getting sick of this,' he brooded silently. 'They just healed yesterday. Gah, how troublesome…'_

_The young pilot stepped out of the courtyard…._

…_Only to run into a mass of black of white._

"_Agh! What the-?" His eyes widened at the creature before him._

"_Moo."_

_As if on cue, Millie and Lelouch walked out the entrance and saw a dazed Suzaku Kururugi on the floor. "Ah, Suzaku-kun!" They rushed to his side and helped him stand._

"_Gomen nasai, Suzaku-kun!" Millie exclaimed, "We decided to help out the local farm with an auction and-" The president stopped abruptly. "Suzaku-kun, are you alright?"_

_The Knight had started to shake, his eyes not leaving the animal in front of him. Lelouch grabbed his friend's shoulder. "Suzaku, are you alright? Suzaku?"_

"_Moo." The cow repeated._

_A scream rang throughout the entire courtyard._

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"Really, Millie, this is going too far. I mean, a cow suit? Seriously?" Lelouch complained, not eager to have his ears deafened by another "Suzaku-Shriek". For a legendary Devicer and the chivalrous Knight of a Princess, Suzaku was surprisingly… feminine.

Millie only waved her hand at the vice president. "Ah, Lulu, it's his fault the animals got freaked out and ruined the entire courtyard!"

Kallen's arms held Lelouch from behind. "Just play along for a while, please Lulu?," she plead.

Now this, "Lulu" liked. Lulu liked it a **lot**.

Shirley stiffened at the sight. '_That's right, they're together now_.' She smiled to herself sadly.

Suzaku's eyes were trained on Lelouch, pleading to be delivered from his torment.

Sighing to himself, Lelouch thought of a better way to solve this dilemma. 'There's no way I can get around Shirley's decision.' He knew damn well of what the president was capable of and, frankly, it scared the living hell out of him.

Millie's face brightened as she thought of another idea. "Suzaku Kururugi will not wear this cow suit."

Suzaku jumped in his seat, overjoyed…

"Alone."

…Only to crash back down to reality.

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"Ahahahaha!"

"They look absolutely ridiculous!"

"Hey Bessie, why don't you come over here and give us some milk?"

"Losers!"

"Nice suit, where can I get one?"

Lelouch and Suzaku were surrounded by a hysterical mob. The latter's face began to resemble a ripe tomato. The former only closed his eyes in boredom.

"Lelouch."

"Eh?"

"It's not that ridiculous, right?"

"What isn't ridiculous?"

"Bovinaphobia."

"You mean the fear of cows?"

"Hai."

The Prince only stayed silent.

"..."

"…"

"Euphie's in good hands, Suzaku."

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**A/N: So, how'dja like it? :D Reviews are welcomed with open arms! **


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